Monday struggles

How the heck is it Monday already? And how the heck is May almost already gone? I'm not lying when I say to you that I'm so excited for this three day weekend. No plans yet but even if we have a staycation I'll be happy.

Jenni's prompt today is to blog on something you struggle with. I guess what I struggle is becoming more evident to me, especially after I forgot to add a stick of butter to my cookie dough last night and realized it didn't look right. I tend to go through things too quickly. Books, directions, emails, money. I'm realizing more and more that sometimes I just need to slow it down for a bit. If I took the time to read that recipe last night and noticed I needed one cup of butter instead of a stick I wouldn't have been scratching my head over my mixer going "what the heck, Laura?". And I know I could save myself time and energy at work if I just stopped to think before responding sometimes. Although my side of the business is very go go go get stuff done asap now I'm noticing that taking that extra 5 minutes wouldn't kill them or hurt me.

And I can say the same thing about life. Sometimes I feel like I'm in such a hurry that I'm beginning to think that I might miss out on something. It could be a sunset or a cool drawing on the sidewalk or anything really - and if I  keep going nose to the grind I might not get to see something really great. I have to remember to live now instead of 50 years down the line (although its always good to think of your retirement, kids) but I have to get better at slowing down, enjoying 28 and today, the now, my present.

Whew.

Are you struggling or having problems with anything?

A favorite photo

So this one is pretty self descriptive - a favorite photo of myself.

This is me on my wedding day. I love this shot because it shows my dress, veil, bouquet, and the gorgeous columns of the building next to our venue. And I'm fairly sure that I'm oozing happiness and joy which was pretty contagious throughout the entire day. I normally never ever wear as much makeup as I do in these photos on a daily basis but for the photos it was a good choice. ;)

My earrings were on loan from my mom and MIL, and my pearl necklace was the one that my grandma gave her on her wedding day. Attached to my bouquet are photos of my grandparents, and tucked on the other side was a pin of DH's other grandma and another small jewelry item from his other grandma.

Do you have a favorite photo of yourself - what are you doing and who took it? :)

The harsh deal.

Day 16! I think I'm over the half way mark on the Blog every day in May challenge. Today's topic is another one that's a bit hard and making me think - it's on something difficult about your lot in life and how you are working to overcome in.

I could start by saying that I'm too nice. I'm definitely a people pleasure and I get way too emotionally invested in things - work, personal situations, with my pets. But I think all of these things tie in deeper to my ultimate hard card in life... my ongoing battle with depression.

For as long as I can remember I've always been depressed. Don't get me wrong - I had a happy childhood - but there were times when I would cry myself to sleep at night because I didn't want to get older and lose my family. People would tell me about sad things and I would just become emotionally overwhelmed by it.

In high school it got a bit worse. I was more of a homebody and found comfort in online virtual chat worlds where I could be myself. I did contemplate suicide, and there were times that I inflicted harm upon myself. I did have help through therapists, and in college I saw them as well. But it wasn't until my grandpa got sick that I realized that I couldn't keep living this way so I asked for help through medicine.

And it was like someone flipped a switch. I started to see that it was okay to be sad but I couldn't allow myself to wallow in it. Bad things happen in life - and I realized that some of my depression was hereditary. However, after my grandpa's passing I didn't deal too well and fell into a depression again. This time though, alcohol was my supposed way to deal and it was one of the worst things I've ever done.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I know there might be someone out there who reads this who may be depressed themselves. But you can get help and you can get to feeling better. Tell someone - a family member, a friend. Seek help because it can - and does get better. If I have kids one day and they happen to inherit this from me I want them to know that it does get better. There is a way to get help - the hardest part for me was to ask.

If you are in desperate need of talking to someone, call the suicide help line at 1-800-784-2433.

And for what it's worth.. I've been pretty happy lately and haven't felt dispair in a long time. Sure, I still have my days where I feel off, but no where near the sadness and darkness that I've felt before.

10 things.

Can I just stop and rant for a moment that my iphone has bit the dust and now is nothing more than an expensive paperweight and I'm just massively annoyed that I have to potentially shell out 200+ for a new phone. Bah first world problems! *shakes fist*.

On to happier things - 10 things that make me happy in no particular order.

• Books. Good books. Especially being able to read them in bed.
• Afternoon naps. Extra points if its on a day off.
• Traveling. I love going places, trying new things and just experiencing life differently.

• Coffee. Any time of day, I love coffee. Especially caramel macchiatos. And if salted caramel mochas were year round... I'm sure my hips would big bigger.
• A cozy sweater. Nothing tops feeling warm and snuggly in a sweater when the weather is bad or at the end of a long day.
• Photography. I should take my photos because it's really a good release for me. And when I get the shot I want... perfection.

Shake shack. Mmmmm burger.

• Food. Yup. I love food. A good burger, an awesome slice of cake... man. I should also probably go to the gym more.
• Sunny days. Even better when its on the weekend.
• Saturday morning showers. There's something just so great about starting the weekend off squeaky clean.. and its sometimes followed by brunch.
• Our own little family. I love my husband and our pets. I love that right now its just us and our little (cramped) apartment and we can snuggle and just be ourselves. 

What are some of your favorite things?

My words to you

Well the bags are packed and set by the door... I just have to set my alarm for the ungodly hour of 5:45 to head to the airport and then its off to Mexico! After the day ended I'm feeling a lot more excited for the trip. I wish DH could go, but I'm also really thrilled to spend time with coworkers and make a deeper bond with some of them.

Today's writing prompt is to blog on a piece of advice that I have for others. I've been thinking about it all day and have been a little unsure of which direction I wanted to take this post, but I've decided to just let it go.

My advice to you? Don't wait. Tell people how much you appreciate them while you can. If you feel like giving someone a call or a hey how are you text or email, do it. Laugh often and if you're thinking about springing for that mocha because you need a little pick me up... go for it. I say this within reason (as I give that goyard bag the side eye) and I don't let a day go by that I don't tell my DH that I love him.

I unfortunately missed the opportunity to tell someone very near to me how much they meant to me before they passed and it has - and I'm afraid will - always stay with me. I know he understood that I love and appreciate him and all the things he did for me, but I'm not quite sure he knew to the extent at which I do.

So, walk the sunny side of the street. Smile at a stranger. Indulge in dessert. Talk. Laugh. Be you. And don't wait.

Scaredy Cat

Ok ladies I need some major help here. I have total bag lust for an item that I shouldn't even be looking at. Someone talk me off my ledge because I was gifted Christmas money from my parents thats burning a hole in my pocket that should not go to a bag.   Right? :/

Bag lust x 100000000.

But on to today's writing prompt is on things that scare you.

The first and foremost thing? Snakes. Yup - thanks dad. I have an absurd fear of snakes so badly that I shudder if I see one on TV, and god help me if I see a live one. I'm not even putting up a photo because I'd probably have to look away. They are just so nasty and gross and the tongue thing I just can't. I can't even bring myself to eat unagi because eels are like water snakes. *Shudders in seat*

Needles most likely rounds out my second choice. Ever since a bad blood draw when I was in the hospital at 16 I've had major needlephobia. DH didn't believe me until he went with me to get a vaccine and I hyperventilated and almost passed out (pregnancy will be fun, oi). Strangely enough, I'm ok with tattoo needles. But drawing blood and getting a normal shot? Ugh god. No thanks.

And the third would most likely be flying. I'd like to think that I'm getting better with it, though! I flew my first transatlantic flight coming back from London and I didn't freak out too badly. I'm better when I'm with others, but I spent a good hour crying on the return flight from our honeymoon and contemplated turning on my phone to call and say goodbye to my parents. Yeahhh. And small planes? No thanks, I'll pass.

But of course, I'm scared of change. I hate to think what will happen one day when I'm older and I don't have my parents here with me any more. Sometimes the ache in my heart is almost too much to deal with - and I still have them. I don't even want to think about it... and if I'm ever without my DH... I'm just not sure I would be able to keep going.

What are some things that scare you - and what helps you to get over them?

My 9 to 5

Three more days until Mexico. Three more days. I hope I can make it three more days!

After seeing Jeannie wear her floral dress this weekend I decided to bring out my floral skirt for today's outfit. I think its stretched and gotten a little big on me but then again.. I don't want to be bulging out of this skirt.
Skirt: J Crew
Blouse: H&M
Phone case in french hens: J Crew

Today's writing of the day prompt is about what I do for work. I currently work at an IT staffing/recruiting firm as an HR Analyst. This is my second year of working in HR and I love it. The majority of my duties include helping to run on and off-boarding initiatives as well as running benefits for the company, employee relations, documentation, and any other day to day things that my boss needs.

I'm incredibly lucky in the sense that I have a fantastic team of coworkers who put up with me asking tons of questions on a daily basis and are also helping me to further my career. HR is not always the easiest thing to do. I often get a little nervous when communicating confidential information to people, especially across email so I double and triple check my work on a daily basis.

I'm also going to be enrolling in a continuing education course through UC Berkeley to get my HR Management certificate so that will start to take up some spare time. For once though I feel as if I really truly like what I do because it makes me think.

What do you do for a career?

My friend Tiffany.

Today's write every day in May challenge is to write about a blogger or real life friend. While I do have a few blogs that I adore I really have yet to make a good friend or two, so I thought I'd dedicate today's post to my best friend since 1st grade - Tiffany.

Tiffany is probably the most kind, selfless person I know. She honestly doesn't have a bad bone in her body and will never, ever say anything negative about anyone. Tiffany is one of the very few people that I know of who put herself through college and getting her master's degree after being dealt with a few hard rounds in life. But - she has never, ever stopped - and for that I admire her so much.

I can always count on Tiffany to listen or make me laugh when I need it, and has been through my side throughout deaths in my family and was one of my bridesmaids in my wedding. She has a contagious laugh and when the two of us get together we always manage to come up with some new joke to keep going.

Everyone who meets Tiffany always seems to say the same thing - she is just the most gentle soul. I know she aspires to be a social worker with adoption cases and I know that one day she will get there.

From volleyball and basketball games as kids, going to rival high schools,  high school dances, college degrees, new boyfriends, breakups, the passing of our grandparents and the distance between us in miles getting longer I can always depend on her.

To my bestest friend for over 20 years - I love you girl and you deserve all of the good things that will be coming your way in life. :)

Who is your oldest and closest friend?

Words to live by

So I've decided that next week while I'm in Mexico for a few days if I can't get online for the every day May blogging challenge that I'll write in a journal and then upload later. I hope that works.. :)

I found this one on Pinterest awhile back and loved it right away. I know its more of a quote about love and all things flowery and romantic, but I also like to think of this when I'm faced with making an adult decision or something that is hard and I'm scared about.

The perfect example that I have is surrounding this is work right now. Two of my closest colleagues are being faced with a tough choice that may ultimately result in us parting ways. I've  been thinking a lot about what I should do when and if that happens. My gut instinct was to go with them or quit all together and start searching for a new job - but when I sat down and talked it out with DH and looked at my options...well... I have nothing to lose if I stay where I am. Truthfully and honestly, I can only begin to grow.

So while I might not be ready to leave them just yet - and quite frankly there may never come a time that I'm ready to - so I'm going to strap on my big girl panties and jump, hoping to learn a lot along the way and help further my career and personal growth while doing so. And this can be said about so many other things too - sometimes being a real adult is just hard.

Are there any quotes that you particularly like to think about or write on when you need some encouragement?

Everybody, everywear - Florals for May

In case you haven't heard of the monthly challenge over at Everybody, Everywear you should go check it out. This month's challenge was florals - as voted by everyone who decided to join up for it. It's my first challenge and I apologize for the bad photo below, but I'm rockin' my floral tank top blouse with navy slacks and a black sweater. I decided to go ahead and wear my red and navy tory burch revas to add a bit of color to the bottom.

What do you pair florals with?

Hello Miss May!

I honestly can't believe that today is already May 2. Where has 2011 gone? (I actually went to write 2010 but then remembered..)

In celebration of our warm weather that we've been having lately in the bay area (nope, not complaining, although my sunburned shoulders hurt a bit) I thought I'd compile some things I'm loving at the moment.

Ice cream sundaes. Without a doubt my hands down favorite shop sundae is from Baskin Robbins. Chocolate chip cookie dough, hot fudge, peanuts, whipped cream and a cherry on top is the perfect sunny day treat. Click here to find the baskin robbins nearest you.

Bright colored nail polish. I love having brightly colored nails to look down on. Even when its foggy there's something about a little pop of color that makes my day. If I remember correctly, I'm currently rockin' the Gelish color of Samuri, a pretty purplish hue with some sparkles and a sheen of pink. Love! Check out the other awesome colors that you can get done on your nails here - and if you didn't know, these mani's last for at least 2 weeks!

Maxi dresses. The little girl in me longs for a few of these glorious dresses that flutter and sweep along the floor gracefully with every step. However, I've been having a bit of a problem locating some that look good on my figure. I've struck out at forever21 but heard from a friend to check old navy. I plan on getting down there sometime soon.. Or maybe I should switch it up and try a maxi skirt. Decisions, decisions! I really love the colors and the style of the Anthropologie one pictured above, but the price point is a little high for me.

Nautical stripes. Theres something so fun and summery about striped shirts I can't almost put my finger on it. But they look fantastic paired with anything from jeans to kahki's to slacks in the office. Can't get enough!  Grab the above J Crew shirt here, a straw hat, and your picnic basket and you are set for a weekend.

That's about it for now - I hope May is treating everyone well so far and let me know what you're crushin on for the upcoming sunny months.