Monday musings

Hello poor neglected blog. With the new job, HR class resuming Thursday nights (which means tons of pages to read each week) and trying to not fall into bed by 9PM every night, life has been busy.

The new job is going well. It's so weird to say I have an office. But it has my name on the door and I have decorated it a bit.

Thanks to my sister for this awesome artwork that was the first thing to go up on my bare walls. :)

I've been wearing skirts a lot to work (since I have to go business attire M-W, eep) and would like some pants that aren't jeans but also aren't slacks. I'm eying these and these - any other suggestions?

I also took a spin class last week and loved it. I am most likely going to join the facility and hopefully I can get back into better shape. I've also purchased a fitbit which is really awesome and I love seeing my steps each day.  I'm also trying to eat only salads with protein for lunch during the weekdays and drink more water.

Other than that... there's been a lot of studying and snuggling with this pretty lady, which is helpful when my lap is cold and I need a cuddle break.

Since I have stopped shopping as much I feel as though I don't have a lot to blog about, so apologies if I have been more lurkish than normal. Are there certain things you'd like me to bring back to the blog? If so, let me know below! Once I feel as though I've gotten into the class/new job routine a bit better I'm going to start doing outfits again. Thanks again for reading!

Life changes + that one time my sister got married

The past 5 days have been a complete blur/whirlwind. Not only did I get a new job offer that I accepted, but my little sister got married this weekend and she made a gorgeous bride. I successfully didn't trip walking down the aisle, delivered my matron of honor speech, and am still sore from getting down on the dance floor.

Just a few phone/photobooth photos of us. :)

My mom and I. Convinced I look just like her (and she looks an awful lot like my grandma..)

Photobooth madness and DH jumped in

My sister the gorgeous bride (both dresses - David's Bridal)

With my Dad. :)

On January 27th I will be starting a new job at a new organization. I'm super excited, nervous, and really really thrilled. I'm going to a non-profit organization which is a brand new venture for me. I've primarily worked for private companies for the past 7 years so this will be a change. It was a hard decision, but ultimately I couldn't say no. And so far, every coworker that I've told has been so incredibly happy so it makes me feel even more confident in the choice I've made.

Heading to Vermont (!) and NYC for the long weekend and to say goodbye to my NY office. I may or may not freeze in Vermont but I have been wanting to see snow.

When you've left a job in the past... what are some ways that helped you to transition smoothly?

Goodbye 2012

2012… where do I even begin with you. For a year that seemed feared by so many (ahem, end of the world naysayers I’m speaking to you) the year was definitely amazing.

From the beginning of the year and starting a new position at work that’s no longer just a job but turning into a career and dealing with the massive growth of my company that is keeping me on my toes I’m grateful to have been given this experience for yet a second year in a row.

 

I witnessed the weddings of friends and family members and travelled all across the 50 states to do so (Honolulu, Denver, and Philly you treated us so well for those short weekend trips). I visited favorite cities that I hadn't seen in years as well as destinations that I hadn’t been to before, and stepped foot on Italian soil less than 3 km from where my grandfather was born.

 

In April and September I lost two amazing family members who I carry in my heart every day. My nonno, my dad’s father passed away at the age of 89 after battling a degenerative lung disease just 5 days after the last time I saw him for dinner and he helped me pick out a pair of new red shoes. Whenever I wear them I think of him and the last time I saw him. I remember his thick laugh and his gentle way of speaking along with how he always called me Loretta. My grandmother passed in September unexpectedly, and she has been the only person that I was given a chance to say goodbye to. It was without a doubt the hardest thing that I have ever done to profess your heart to someone who you know will not pull through. I take from her my devotion to my husband and my family, the happy memories of sharing meals around their tables and have to come to accept that now she is with my grandpa that she will be allright. I stood and spoke at both of their wakes, the only grandchild from either side to do so and I still hope that what I said was enough for both of them.

In August I married my best friend on a sunny day in san Francisco surrounded by 200 guests. The day was fantastic and reigns supreme as the best day of my life.  While it went by in a happy blur I won’t ever forget how incredibly happy I was that day, how my parents and sister were just so estatic on that day, and how lucky I am to have an amazing set of inlaws who value family, food, and laughter just the same as mine does. I cherish the wedding photos from that day and still can’t believe that I managed to plan the entire thing.

I'd like to say that my fashion sense has evolved – and will continue to do so through 2013. I think part of it is coming to terms with the fact that I know I will never be a size 2, and as a result certain things just don’t look good on me (peplum, you are one of them). But that also means that I’m learning to dress me for me. I want to start investing in better pieces for the long term – no more fad pieces that are only worn for a season.  My diehard addiction to j crew isn’t waining any time soon, though.  And starting in January I will have a 300 a month fashion budget.

We celebrated highs, cried with the lows, danced like crazy at weddings and snapped photobooth photos whenever present, leaving happy mementos of a memory forever trapped on a piece of film will always remind me of 2012.

So, to those of you that read here thank you so much for being on this ride with me through 2012 and im excited and eager to see what 2013 has in store. I want to hone in more on blogging and up the ante with the photos. I want to continue to develop my style while still watching my budget. Eat better, travel more (hello London and Paris!) and continue to develop my career.

Bring it on 2013. Bring it on.

Putting it out there.

I've hesitated to sit down and write this multiple times, but I figured I just have it put it somewhere, even if nobody ever reads it.

I've been thinking a lot about what happened in Aurora on Friday, wondering how someone could do something like that to innocent people. I think back to the earlier parts of my life when I was a lot different. I was scared, depressed. I was bullied mercilessly.

In middle school it was for anything and everything. When I got glasses for the first time someone came up and screamed in my face. I was taunted for liking cats, for not wearing the most up and coming clothing items, for wanting to belong. For my Lisa Frank folders not being the coolest thing, not reading the right books, saying the wrong thing in class when doing group projects, for being blessed with Italian genes and having hair on my legs, for sticking up for a friend and for being one. In church one Sunday someone in my class refused to shake hands with me during peace. And for what? I still, to this day at almost 28 years old still can't wrap my head around it. Was it my freckles? The fact that I had bangs? That I was the oldest in my family? And for what - just to see someone cry? To watch them crack and break because they just couldn't handle being hated anymore. I begged my mom to let me change schools, but there wasn't an option to do so. Looking back, my mom now says she wishes she realized just how depressed I had been over this. I don't blame her though - who knows if it wouldn't have continued at a new school?

And in high school, the people who I thought were my friends mocked me for not driving at 16, for the kind of music that I liked and for the way I dressed (sure, I expressed my sadness through clothes, black nail polish, and heavy metal with some country music mixed in. But I digress), the fact that I was going to a community college (my parents couldn't afford college tuition for me) and they always liked to insist that I was a lesbian (I'm not, but who cares if I was?). One once threatened to open the door of her car and throw me out if I kept my favorite band on the radio station in her car. These girls who I spent 4 years with - the ones who I travelled with, laughed with over stupid inside jokes and cried with when my dog died - they bullied me too, and I only realize it now over 10 years later. (And if you're wondering, I'm not friends with any of them today.)

Was this all because I was shy? Because I was nervous and anxious around boys and I wasn't as outgoing as everyone else? Because I never had a date to school dances and in middle school that no one wanted to slow dance with me?

And perhaps the biggest kicker? I went to private Catholic schools. So yes - bullying wears no face or name, doesn't differentiate between schools - private, public, boarding, it doesn't discriminate. And I know it doesn't stop there - it exists in the workforce but sporting different masks of disguise.

But through all of this, through the depression that this waged on me, I never once wanted to take it out on another human, another animal, nothing but myself and the pages of my journals. I cannot wrap my mind around how one person can do such damage to another.

I tend to think that this is why I gravitated toward human resources - the ability to make a work environment safe and positive for everyone.

So - I say to you, if someone is bullying you, harassing you, doing anything to make you uncomfortable, seek help. Please. Don't take it out on other people. If you're experiencing something like this, I understand. I truly, really do. But please, don't take it out on others. And if you are the one doing the bullying, please, I urge you to stop. You don't know the war that can wage inside someone, the sadness and the despair that you might make someone feel.

I'm not quite sure how to end this so I'll do it here. Thanks if you've made it this far.

And for what its worth - to the people who have made me so sad over the years... I don't hate you. I only want the best for you.

Weekend photo replay

Some photos that I snapped this weekend... the first three are from my massive walk on Saturday morning throughout Nob Hill, Russian Hill, North Beach, Telegraph Hill, and the Embarcadero.

I love sidewalk art... little reminders to be happy and smile

There was some major pollination going on at the top of the hill...

I loved this perfect pink little rose hiding on the stairs to Coit Tower

The last one is how Rosie got her nickname Chomps...

Watch out, she'll chomp your feet..

Also in big news we're about to sign our wedding contract for August 11, 2012! I can feel the stress leaving my shoulders as I type this. The next big thing I want to knock out right away is our photographer.

So that's about it for now - I can't believe July is already coming to a close and August is knocking on our doors. Odd to think that I'll be 27 in a month - jeesh that sounds... old. :O

Happy Monday!

On growing.

As of late I've felt that I'm in fact changing. I don't know if you would call it a growth spurt, but its something. I've been re-evaluating some things in my life and contemplating what to do next with them.

1) Work. I can tell you right now that I'm not happy with what I'm doing. What would I rather be doing? Obviously not what I'm doing now. But my real question is what would I do that makes me happy. I quite frankly have no idea. Obviously something more in the creative field. I would love to eventually make photography or writing into a career but I'm way too amateur for that. But regardless - the point that I'm trying to make is that I'm incredibly unhappy job-wise at the moment and I'm doing everything in my power to try and change it (come on google, you know you want to hire me.)

2) Relationship-wise. Something big is coming. I can tell you for sure that 2012 will have wedding bells. I'm excited, nervous, a little scared, and incredibly happy. I'm thrilled beyond belief to know that we are moving toward getting engaged and anytime it happens I'll probably burst into tears and then jump up and down.

3) My self image. Okay laura, lets face it. Your metabolism is not the same as it was back in college. You've sadly inherited hips and a stomach from mom's side of the family. So, I have to go back to exercising. Maybe zumba, or a bootcamp - something. Because I really don't want to look like a whale as I enter 2011.

4) Do something good for someone else. I have so much stuff laying around the place that's unused - body care stuff up the wazoo. So instead of hoarding it for when kingdom comes, I think I'd like to put together baskets for the less fortunate. I have a ton of brand new Hello Kitty stuff (um mom, I'm 26 now) that I think some little girl may love. So I need to get going on that. Just need to find a place in the city that would take all of it.

So, that's kinda where I'm at right now. I have been doing better and my shopping ban has helped. I've been working on the Christmas presents for my cousins, and the only people left are Dave and my sister.

Other than that... I'm just waiting, waiting, waiting for the clock to strike 6 so I can go home.

And some pretty tulips that I spotted earlier this year - just because.