Tuesday, May 3, 2011

This moment in time

Over the past two days I've had an influx of emotions riding over me - mainly the majority of them pertaining to getting married and well, getting old. It's not cold feet - it was just the sudden realization that some studies and statistics say that half of married couples get divorced. Wham. Wall of bricks. I don't want to be a statistic, I thought to myself late in bed last night. And well, I (we) are going to do everything within reason to make sure our marriage is a successful one.

ranunulous make me happy.

I do have to take this term from Kelle Hampton - she referrs so moments when you want time to stand still and just revel in things as sucking the marrow out of it. It was laying in bed last night with dave to my side and us trying to squish rosie between us that I have never wanted more to have a camera to step back and capture this, this moment, this feeling - this uncontainable happiness, these moments at 26 when I'm in my apartment with my cat, my chinchillas, my future husband that I'm completely at peace and wouldn't put myself anywhere else. I want to draw back and just make time stop, feel the way I'm feeling and remember it, because who knows at what age down the line if I'll even remember how I feel.

Rosie in her window
 There's a part of me that feels very bittersweet as well, because unfortunately time doesn't stand still and I know that I may not always feel like this. I'll get older, so will Dave, and Rosie, and the chinchillas, and this tiny little blip of time on the radar of my life will eventually fade away into the past, replaced with new memories and feelings, thoughts and even people, places, and things.

In a way, I'm a bit scared. Scared because I hate the changes that I can't control. I hate not knowing what life is going to throw at me, what ups and downs are try and shake and break me so I can try and plan ahead for them. I desperately miss my grandpa and wish he was here with me to celebrate this time of life with me, to ask him how he and my grandma did it for 60+ years, to just pick his brain because the 30's, 40's, were not easy times - although I don't think any time is an easy time.

So, thanks to Kelle, I'm going to follow her advice. I'm going to continue sucking the marrow out of these bright brilliant happy moments, photograph them in my mind and hold on to them. I'm going to write more, whether its here or in my paper journal. I will be more thankful for these moments, these snippets of time that I'm just completely in awe.

And that, friends, is where I'm at at this moment in time.


  1. After reading your touching post, I immediately thought of your blog title - how perfectly appropriate, thanks for sharing.


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